


Personal Leave

by GremlinSR



Series: ByakuNara Thursdays [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Hyuugas, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hyuuga Neji Lives, Like a lot of drama, Older Man/Younger Woman, Rare Pairings, Romance, Shikaku Lives, Shikaku is a failboat, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 09:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16172513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GremlinSR/pseuds/GremlinSR
Summary: Shikaku always sees twenty steps ahead of everybody else. One thing he didn't account for, however, is that matters of the heart are never logical. When he makes a small (really big) miscalculation after a whirlwind love affair with Hinata, he'll have to do everything he can to make things right.





	1. Chapter 1

The news hit her like a kick to the chest from Lee, coming out of nowhere and leaving her breathless and stricken.

Hinata had forced herself not to dwell on the circumstances that had led to her current predicament, though she hadn’t always been completely successful in keeping the memories at bay. She had not expected such a strong reminder while visiting the doctor for her presumed bout of the flu.

Even though Nara Shikaku hadn’t looked at her twice since that night, Hinata couldn’t help but remember the desperate way he’d dug his fingers into her hips. How he’d pressed so close, wrapping his arms around her while he moved inside of her. The way he’d laid his head on her chest afterward and let her run her fingers through his hair. The texture had been coarse, and it had sprung back up under her fingers when she lifted her hand to bring it back to his scalp.

Hinata had known he had only recently completed his divorce, and the way he’d soaked up every touch and caress had been proof that it’d been a long time since somebody had treated him tenderly. She’d felt needed and special in a way that she’d never experienced before.

The next morning, when she’d woken to find an apathetic Jounin Commander where a lover had been the night before, a cold feeling had fallen over her.

Shikaku had glanced over as he pulled his pants over his hips, a dismissive look. “Get dressed. We’re leaving in half an hour.”

Hinata hadn’t been able to move from where she’d sat, sheet pulled up to cover her bare chest. Her eyes had moved over him, trying to find a hint of the man he’d been the night before. The one who had grinned wickedly at her from between her thighs after making her come for the third time. The one who had pressed tender kisses into her collarbones and neck while he’d made love to her.

He wasn’t there.

Shikaku had swiped his shirt from the floor and pulled it on before looking at her again. He’d taken in her expression and his own countenance had softened, though only slightly. He’d walked over to the bed and sat down. 

“What happened last night can’t happen again, Hinata. It was a mistake. It would be better to forget it.”

A deep pang had started in her chest and expanded down into her stomach until it felt like a rift had cracked opened down her whole torso. “A mistake? Then...you regret  it.” It was a statement, an obvious fact that she was saying out loud, more for herself than for him. The twist of his lips and the way he wouldn’t quite meet her eyes confirmed it.

“I see,” Hinata had said.

She honestly hadn't expected this, not after the way he'd treated her that whole month. She’d never spent time with him before but had been chosen as one of his guards for his visit to Iron. Hinata had been flattered. It was true she’d made a name for herself as a bodyguard and escort - her defensive jutsu and long-range Byakugan made her well-suited to it - but still, to be chosen to guard the Jounin Commander himself was a high honor.

Shikaku had treated her with a gentle respect and a focused admiration from the very beginning. She had thought...well. None of that mattered, anymore. She had obviously thought wrong.

Hinata had gathered her dignity around her as best she could while lying in the sheets that still smelled of their recent lovemaking. She was a kunoichi, a professional, and she would put her feelings away until this mission was over. She would not break down. They only had to travel back to Konoha, their tasks in Iron completed. She could hold it together that long.

“Hinata -” She had twisted away from him when he reached for her, unable to quite help the way she clung to the sheets as she stood and stepped away. Hinata had put her chin into the air and met his gaze without flinching.

“I understand, sir. I won’t tell anybody about this, so you don’t need to worry.”

His jaw had tightened and he had stared at her for a long moment. Shikaku had looked almost contrite, and when he opened his mouth to speak, Hinata had hoped for a moment that he was going to take it all back - the cold way he’d been acting that morning, his failure to argue when she’d said he regretted their night together.

Instead what came out was: “Alright. I’ll see you down in the lobby in half an hour.”

Hinata hadn’t cried when he shut the door softly behind him, but her hands had been shaking as she showered and got dressed. The journey back to the village had been mostly silent. Sasuke was the second guard, and he was just as talkative now as he had been when they were children, though he no longer carried the rage that had made him so unapproachable.

Hinata had taken the time to calm down and think things through. She didn’t think Shikaku had meant to make her feel used, or even planned to sleep with her when he so obviously wasn’t willing to give her anything further than one night. It had been spur-of-the-moment, probably a weakness borne from loneliness on his part.

It had partly been her fault for falling into bed with him without talking first, or explaining that one-night stands were not something she engaged in. And Shikaku had been very obviously touch-starved. Hinata had considered him somewhat of a friend after a full month spent in each other's company, and she knew she had at the very least given him something he had needed. It was a hollow comfort.

By the time she got back to the village, she had decided not to dwell on it any further. Shikaku obviously didn’t want anything to do with her, and she was no longer a child who followed her crush around, waiting for them to notice her. Hinata would pretend like it never happened.

Now, as she sat in the chilly room in only a hospital gown, staring at the medic who had just turned her world on its head, her plan to move past that night as though it had never happened crumbled around her.

“W-what?” She hadn’t stuttered for years, but she thought she could forgive herself just this once.

“Ah, Hyuuga-san, I said - you’re pregnant.”

Hinata blinked rapidly and put a hand down on the table next to herself to keep from swaying. “I...are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“But I’m on birth control.” Her voice sounded faint and small.

The medic, whose name Hinata couldn’t remember, now, sat down and smiled kindly at her. “This happens, sometimes. Have you taken any antibiotics in the last few months?”

“No, I - ” Hinata faltered. On their way to Iron, all three of them had ended up ill from contaminated water. It was an issue that some nearby villagers had been well-acquainted with, and they’d found a medic who had given them each a packet of pills to take that would deal with the symptoms.

“I guess I did, on a mission a two months ago. I completely forgot about it and right after I...” she blushed and the medic reached over and patted her hand.

“Oh, that’s not unusual that you wouldn't realize. Okay, let’s schedule an ultrasound for a few days from now with one of our medics that specializes in obstetrics. It seems like you’re almost eight weeks along, already!”

Hinata left the hospital an hour later, information that the doctor had given her about the current stage of her pregnancy spinning through her head. Hinata was pregnant. She was _pregnant._ She somehow made it back to her apartment and into the shower, though she couldn’t quite remember getting there. She leaned her forehead against the tiled wall and let the hot water run over her skin, thawing through her shock.

 _You have options,_ the medic had said when she saw how unexpected and unwelcome the news had been.

But Hinata didn’t want to terminate. She had always wanted children, knew that she would love parenthood and was well-suited for it. At the age of twenty-one, she wasn’t in any rush, exactly, especially since she was still single, but she wasn’t afraid of it, either. Even if she’d be a single parent.

Hinata took a shuddering breath and let that sink in. A single parent. Unmarried. Many in her clan would look down on her for it, despite it being a fairly common occurrence for kunoichi around the village.

She’d have to raise the baby outside of the Hyuuga compound. She wouldn’t subject him or her to the sneers or disapproval or the whispers about their mother. She was certain her family would try to keep everyone in check, but there was no need to tempt trouble.

That wouldn’t require any extra effort from her. She’d already moved out of her childhood home to avoid any awkwardness or confusion about who was in charge when Neji had been given the clan head position. She hadn’t wanted anybody to feel strange about the power shift, especially since she’d only felt relief that it had happened. 

Hinata would have to be a working mother, she supposed, since she couldn’t rely on the clan for financial support without putting a strain on her family’s political standing once her situation came to light. That was okay. She had some savings from the A and B ranked escort and bodyguard missions she’d been taking on for the past year. She could stay at home with the baby for at least a year if she was careful. After that, she’d have to ask the Hokage for an in-village position or shorter missions.

Inevitably, her mind went to Shikaku. Hinata squeezed her eyes shut and fisted her hands against the tile on either side of her head. She’d have to tell him. Her breath started coming in short pants because she knew, she _knew_ he wouldn’t be okay with just staying out of the picture. That was a good thing, theoretically. For the child, for certain - having a father like Shikaku was a good thing if Shikamaru was any example.

But Hinata was in love with him, and to him, she had just been a way to feel a connection to another human being after his marriage ended. She still felt the sting of rejection whenever she saw him or thought of him. There was also some anger for the way he’d tossed her to the side after. She’d thought, at the very least, that he’d cared for her. Now she’d have to see him all the time.

Hinata shook her head. That was enough dwelling. Tomorrow, she’d put in the paperwork to be taken off active duty. She had a note from the medic and stern instructions not to go on any missions if she could help it. Then she’d think about the best way to approach Shikaku.

Surprisingly, she slept well that night. Or maybe it wasn’t surprising, with how tired she’d been lately. It had been the constant exhaustion, along with the bouts of vomiting, that had finally had her giving in and going to the doctor. She wondered now how she’d missed the signs.

When she woke up it was already mid-morning and she considered just staying in bed that day and turning in the paperwork later. That would be irresponsible, though. The people who put together mission teams would need to know immediately, just in case they had her in mind for something.

Hinata dragged herself out of bed to get ready. Her eyes lingered on the tea tin on her counter, but she turned away from it with a sigh. It would be difficult to adjust to not having her cup every day. Perhaps she should stop for some herbal tea on her way back.

Hinata was feeling a little steadier than she had the day before, though if she allowed herself to dwell too long on the subject of her baby’s father her anxiety threatened to overwhelm her. So she focused on other things, like how she’d need to turn the small den she currently used as an office into a nursery. Hinata wondered if Kurenai-sensei would be willing to sit down with her and talk to her about what being a single parent was like. 

She stopped and bought a pastry on the way and ate it as she walked. Luckily, her stomach didn’t rebel, and the pastry stayed where it was after she’d finished it. An hour later, she left the administration building with a copy of her medical leave request, stamped and approved, clutched in her hand. She stood next to the door and stared down at it.

Hinata had been an active kunoichi for almost ten years. She couldn’t just sit around for seven months. Hinata was pretty sure she’d drown in her worries over the future. Then she remembered Kurenai had found a job at the missions desk while pregnant.

Right. Hinata turned on her heel and walked back into the building to find out how she could apply.

000

Shikaku sighed at the stack of reports on his desk. He reached for the high-ranked missions that he needed to review before they could be officially assigned. He looked through the first few, signing off on two and sending one back after making a note on team formation. When he picked up the fourth, he frowned after reading the first paragraph.

“Shouta!”

His assistant appeared at the door, sour expression firmly in place. “Yes, sir?”

“Why am I looking at a mission I just signed off on yesterday?”

Shouta stepped into the room and crossed over to his desk. He glanced down and the furrow in his brow smoothed. “Ah. The kunoichi on the team filed for medical leave unexpectedly. I had to rearrange the team formation.”

Shikaku took a slow, careful breath. He remembered exactly who the kunoichi had been. It wasn’t often he forgot details once he knew them, but anything having to do with _her_ was especially memorable.

“Hyuuga Hinata? Was she injured on her last mission?” He hadn't read anything like that in her last mission report.

“No. In the paperwork, the reason is listed as personal, though she has a doctor’s note stating the need for leave is urgent.”

“Bring the paperwork to me,” he said shortly. “Now.”

Shouta didn’t bat an eye at the strange request. After ten years working together, he’d learned not to question Shikaku’s sometimes-odd demands. A moment later the document was sitting in front of him. His eyes lingered on the graceful curves of her signature before scanning the rest of the information.

As long as a doctor corroborated the need for it with a note, his shinobi didn’t have to give a reason for leave requests, but they usually did, just to avoid awkward questions. Hinata had simply put ‘Personal Medical Leave’ and left it at that.

Those three words taunted him. The request was for a full year.  Shikaku tapped his fingers on his desk. He knew he didn’t have a right to ask, especially after the way he’d treated her, but he needed to know if there was something seriously wrong. He wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else until he knew.

“Hyuuga made an appointment to speak with you tomorrow, sir. I’m sure she’d be willing to answer your questions at that time.”

Some of the tightness in his stomach relaxed. “Alright. I’m sure it’s fine.”

It took effort to focus back on his work, but he managed to put the situation out of his mind until he left the office later that day. He walked slowly, hands in his pockets, staring down at the ground. The thought of Hinata being ill enough to need so much time off was not a pleasant one. Shikaku knew he shouldn’t dwell on what happened between them, but he selfishly hoarded the memories of that night - that whole month, really - to himself.

Yoshino leaving had been a long time coming. Their marriage had been rushed, a demand put upon him by the clan to make sure he passed on his genes before going off to war. He had loved her, but he knew they weren’t well-matched after the first year. In the end, she’d stayed for the clan and for their son. Shikamaru had still needed her when he first took on the duties as clan head, but as soon as he became comfortable in the role, Yoshino had moved out.

Shikaku had never strayed, and neither had she. They also hadn’t exchanged anything but friendly, casual touches in the past two years. Shikaku hadn’t realized how much he missed intimacy until he’d been hit over the head with the presence of somebody who made him feel that kind of want again.

Hinata had been too much to resist. The way she smiled at him and laughed at his dry humor. Her easy acceptance of his sometimes-cranky moods and the way she looked at him like she saw a real person, not just the Jounin Commander or a strategic mind or the former head of a clan. How she liked what she saw despite that. Of course, there was also the fact that she was gorgeous, though that on its own wouldn't have been enough to tempt him.

When she’d invited him into her room to try some tea she’d bought in the market the day before they’d left...well, he’d never stood a chance. Shikaku was always logical, always thinking ten steps ahead of everybody else, but when it came to her he’d just _wanted._

The next morning he’d woken up to her stretched out beside him, long lashes brushing against his arm when they’d fluttered in her sleep. Shikaku had wanted her all over again, in a way that told him he’d probably never stop, no matter how much of her he got. He’d known, then, that he had to draw away. She was just so young and trusting and tempting.

Shikaku already had four different plans outlined in his head on how he could convince her to stay with him and not leave. To be his. But that wasn’t fair, not to her. Eventually, the shine of being with a man of his accomplishments would wear off, and all she’d be left with was an old man who would die years before her. Not to mention the judgment of her friends and family and some of the less kind individuals in their village.

Still, he’d almost faltered at the expression on her face when she’d said he regretted it. He knew he’d hurt her with his rejection, but he only did it to keep from hurting her worse later.

He forced himself from his maudlin thoughts when he turned up the front walk of Shikamaru’s house. Temari had started insisting that he come by once a week for dinner with them, and he hadn’t protested. He knew Shikamaru worried about him living all alone. 

Shikaku was honestly fine outside of the ridiculous situation he found himself in, pining for one of his son’s peers. He should probably feel more ashamed, more like a pervert, but he honestly couldn’t blame himself for being pulled into her orbit. Before spending that month with her, he hadn’t thought people like her actually existed.

He knocked on the door and wasn’t surprised when he heard Temari yelling at Shikamaru to get the door. “Alright, woman, I’m going!” Shikamaru’s annoyed voice snapped and Shikaku’s lips twitched, already knowing what was coming.

“What did you just call me?”

“Er...beautiful wife?”

Shikaku shook his head when Temari said something indistinct and Shikamaru protested. A moment later the door opened, revealing Shikamaru, who had a small smile playing across his lips.

“Hey,” he said, stepping back so that Shikaku had room to enter.

“Shikamaru.” He reached out and squeezed his shoulder before removing his shoes.

“Good day?” Shikamaru asked as he led him into the kitchen.

Shikaku just hummed noncommittally, then turned his attention to his daughter-in-law, who had somehow grown even larger since dinner last week. “Temari,” he said and bent down so she could kiss his cheek.

“Ah, hello. Thanks for coming. Dinner should be ready soon - oh! There he goes again.” She grabbed his hand and pulled it to her stomach. Her eyes were bright with happiness and a moment later he felt it - a flutter against his hand.

“Hmm. He’s active today,” Shikaku said and returned Temari’s smile.

“He’s got much more energy than his lazy father,” she said and Shikamaru sighed but didn’t protest when she shoved a stack of plates into his hands and told him to set the table.

“Yeah, he’s just like his mother - demanding attention at all hours,” Shikamaru grumbled as he walked away and yelped when a carrot, thrown with deadly accuracy by his wife, bounced off his head.

That set the tone for the rest of the night, and by the time Shikaku left he was feeling warm and content. It was satisfying to see Shikamaru so happy. Temari was a good woman, and Shikaku was sometimes a little surprised that his apathetic and cranky son had managed to snag her.

He chuckled to himself and tilted his head back, breathing in the fresh air and taking in the stars spread out above him. His house was dark and quiet when he reached it and he didn’t bother turning on the lights before he made his way to the fridge and pulled out a beer.

He brought it out to the back porch and settled onto the bench there. The deer were settled in for the night, gathered in the middle of the field, and he watched them with fondness. Inevitably, his thoughts drifted to Hinata, and he closed his eyes.

He remembered the warm look in her eyes the first time he’d pushed into her. The way her lips had parted, how soft her thighs had been against his hips. He shuddered and leaned forward, opening his eyes and taking a few gulps of beer. Not for the first time, he wondered if he’d made a mistake that morning.

Shikaku wasn’t a man who lived with regret. He had made some mistakes, certainly, but he didn’t let himself dwell past accepting the lessons that came with them. Regrets weighed a man down, made his decisions suspect and his heart heavy. He made a decision, for good or for worse, and then moved on. So why was he having so much trouble moving on from this?

Shikaku stayed outside until he’d finished his beer, then went into his office and opened some scrolls he’d gathered for a research project he’d taken on. After a few hours he rubbed his dry eyes and looked at the clock on the wall. If he didn’t want to be a zombie tomorrow, he should get some rest. Sometimes it felt like he was closer to fifty than forty.

The next morning he didn’t bother trying to deny to himself why he spent extra time on his appearance - making sure he shaved his cheeks and neck carefully and trimmed his goatee, and pulling back his hair with extra attention. Shikaku knew it was illogical. He’d decided she’d be better off without him, yet he didn’t want her not to want him, either. Ridiculous.

The first few hours of his day were spent in a meeting with Kakashi, who kept giving him strange looks. Shikaku was good at hiding his feelings, but Kakashi knew him well and probably sensed his worry and distraction.

When it was time for his meeting with Hinata he flattened his hands on his desk to prevent himself from drumming his fingers on it. He stood when she entered and his chest tightened the way it always did when he caught sight of her.

She was wearing a light purple dress with short sleeves that did nothing to hide the swell of her breasts and hips that he’d become intimately familiar with that night. Her eyes were wide and luminous and her hair was pulled back into a braid.

“Hinata. Come in,” he said after clearing his throat. She closed the door behind her after saying a soft thank you to Shouta, then moved to stand in front of the desk.

“Sit,” he said, a little more gruffly than he’d meant to, and she lowered into the chair he’d put out for her.

Hinata looked down at her lap and he took the chance to study her closely. She was paler than usual and there were bags under her eyes. She was wringing her hands together and holding a tension he wasn’t used to seeing in her.

“You wanted to speak with me?” he prompted after the silence stretched on for too long, and she jumped as though startled from her thoughts.

He couldn’t help the small twitch of his lips at her wide-eyed look and the red spreading across her cheeks. “Right. Sorry, Commander.” He narrowed his eyes, but let the formal address go in favor of getting to the point.

She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders, something he’d noticed she did whenever she was preparing herself to say something she knew somebody didn’t want to hear. She’d done the same thing when he’d tried to insist he wasn’t ill after drinking that contaminated water on the way to Iron. He’d thought it was cute then (as a result he’d given in to her insistence that he take it easy), and he thought it was cute now.

“I’m not sure if you saw the leave I requested the day before yesterday.”

“I did. Are you okay? Are you sick?” 

“I’m not ill, Commander.” She shifted and swallowed, eyes darting around the room as though looking for an exit. “I...well, the truth is, I’m pregnant.” She blurted it out in a rush and Shikaku’s thoughts just...stopped.

“It was those antibiotics that we took when we were ill - do you remember? My doctor thinks that it affected the birth control. I - it wasn’t on purpose.”

She brought her hands up and then put them back into her lap and looked away. Pregnant. Hinata was pregnant. His mind clicked back on and he barely kept himself from blurting the inevitable first question: was it his?

He had to assume it was since she was sitting in front of him with an expression on her face like he was an executioner and she was his prisoner. The next question - would she keep it? - was easily deduced by her leave request.

“I know that this is not what you wanted, especially with me,” Hinata said, voice shaking. “I don’t expect anything from you, I just thought you should know -”

“It’s probably too late today,” he said as his mouth finally caught up to the way his thoughts had sped through the situation, to the inevitable conclusion, one that should have been upsetting but wasn’t.

“Um. Too late for what?”

“For us to get married. We’ll do it tomorrow,” he said, distracted as he thought through the details. He rubbed a hand across his lower lip and goatee. Kakashi would probably do it for them. He’d need to tell Shikamaru (that would be a strange, probably-not-fun conversation) and he should talk to Hiashi, too -

“No.” Hinata’s firm tone pulled his attention to her just as she stood. Her hands were fisted at her sides and she’d gone even paler. Her eyes were over-bright, but her jaw was set.

“No, you don’t want to do it tomorrow?”

She shook her head jerkily, once. “No, I won’t marry you. I know...I know why you want to. You think it’d be better, for me and for the child. Maybe you’d be right if it weren’t for my own personal failings.”

Shikaku stood slowly and held a hand out towards her when her eyes became brighter with tears. “Hinata, sweetheart, that’s not -”

“Don’t,” she said and her tone was so hard and unyielding that he snapped his mouth shut.

Shikaku took in her devastated expression, so similar to the one she’d worn that morning, and realized that he’d just seriously miscalculated. He scrambled for a way to fix this, any move that would get that horrible look off her face.

“I understand we are both public figures within our clans, and that having a child outside of marriage will bring some disapproval from them onto both myself and the baby. However,” she took a breath and let it out when her voice wobbled. “However, it is important to me that my - our - child grow up with a mother who shows them how to live a good life by example. I cannot do that if I am unhappy due to bad decisions made out of fear.”

Shikaku took a step back at her words. She was staring at the top of his desk and didn’t notice his reaction. He opened his mouth, but she stole the words from him again when she said, so softly he barely heard her, “I know it's selfish, but I cannot be happy being married to someone who does not care for me.”

“Hinata, that’s not -”

“I know there are people out there who share custody and make it work. I - I’ll reach out to you when I’m further along in the pregnancy, and we can discuss it.”

Her voice was shaking, along with her hands, and he struggled to catch up with what was happening - this whole situation had spiraled out of control so fast, and he’d been off balance since he saw that damn Personal Leave form yesterday - but the sight of a tear dripping onto her cheek made him even more tongue-tied.

She bowed. “Please forgive me, Commander.”

Her braid swung when she spun and hurried to the door. “Hinata, dammit, wait!” he called when she pulled the door open, but she ignored him and darted out into the waiting room, past Shouta’s desk and a few weary-looking jounin in the room.

Shikaku hit his shin painfully on the edge of his desk in his hurry to go after her. He half-limped, half ran to the door, barely catching a glimpse of her as she turned down the hall. He ignored the wide-eyed shinobi as he hurried past them.

“Shouta - cancel my afternoon.”

“Your afternoon what?” Shouta asked, voice faint.

“My afternoon _everything,”_ he snapped before he dashed around the corner and took off down the hall in the direction Hinata had disappeared.

After everything, of course Hinata wouldn’t realize how he felt about her. The news that she was pregnant with his child hadn’t been unwelcome, it had been the opposite, really, once it sunk in. He’d been relieved. Now, it was the right thing to be with her, when before it would have been strictly selfish.

Plus, Shikaku had always wanted more children, but Yoshino hadn’t been willing. He was older, he knew, but that wasn’t necessarily bad. He had more free time now that he wasn’t running a whole clan and the world was a more peaceful place.

Shikaku _wanted_ this, and he wished he could go back in time and punch his past self in the face for putting him in this situation. Hinata said she didn’t want to marry him because of _his_ feelings, because she thought he didn’t care. She didn’t say anything about how she felt, but Shikaku knew.

He had known, before he stepped into her hotel room, had known when he was pushing into her tight heat, and when he was trailing his lips across her perfect, soft skin. Hinata cared for him, maybe even loved him, and that had been impossible to say no to because he felt the same way, despite knowing that loving him was going to make her unhappy in so many other ways.

He’d been so sure she’d get over it, that he was doing the right thing. Shikaku was a strategist, he lived and breathed possible outcomes and consequences. He’d seen Hinata’s friends giving her a hard time for her choice to date the father of one of their tight-knit group. He’d seen Hiashi’s cold disapproval and Neji’s overprotective nature bearing down on her. The titters of the older members of Shikaku’s clan as she walked by. He hadn’t been able to stand the thought of doing that to her.

So he’d been a goddamned coward, and now she was pregnant and alone and thought he didn’t care. What he hadn’t foreseen was that neither of them would be able to move on that easily. It had been a long time since Shikaku had done something so idiotic. He bolted down the stairs, ignoring the wide-eyed looks he was getting.

“Move!” he barked at a couple of genin walking side-by-side down the stairs, pace painfully slow.

They plastered themselves to the wall, gaping as he _whooshed_ past them. “Commander...?” someone said when he ran past the missions room and out onto the crowded street.

He was forced to stop and look up and down the road, standing as tall as he could to see if he could spot Hinata’s lavender dress or her dark purple hair. Nothing. Dammit.

000

Hinata sat on the couch wiping ineffectually at the tears that just would not stop coming, no matter how hard she tried to calm down. She had half-expected him to suggest marriage, honestly. It was what many people would believe was the right thing to do, and Shikaku was a man who did the right thing when he could.

Still, having him so casually offer something that she wanted even while she knew that it wasn’t the real thing, that it would just be a pale imitation of what she hoped for, had broken her heart all over again. For him to have to force himself to be with her...that was the worst feeling.

She brought her feet up to the couch and wrapped her arms around her legs. Her chest was hot and her tears were thick in her throat. How could she face him again after her breakdown?

As if in answer, there was a knock on her door, loud and rapid. She wondered if one of her friends had seen her run from the administration building, crying (she’d be embarrassed about that later, she was sure) and come to check on her. She tightened her arms around her legs and tried to be quiet. Hopefully they'd think she wasn't there and leave.

“Hinata.” Her heart stuttered and then sped up its rhythm in her chest when Shikaku’s voice sounded through the door. “Hinata, I can hear you crying. Please, let me in. I need to talk to you.”

“Go away,” she said before she could think better of it. Her voice was raspy and pitiful and her shoulders hunched up to her ears.

“No. Not until you’ve heard me out.”

She pressed her face into her legs and didn’t respond. The last thing she wanted was to talk to the man who’d broken her heart - twice. She was sure he’d come up with the perfect arguments to convince her to marry him, but she knew none of them would be what she wanted to hear.

“Hinata.”

She remained stubbornly silent, despite how immature she knew it was. A petulant sort of anger took root in her, one she’d been trying to ignore since that awful morning. Hinata tried to be understanding, to have empathy for the people around her, but this was just too much.

“Hinata -”

She brought her feet down to the floor and stood before stomping to the door and fumbling with the locks. A moment later she flung it open to reveal Shikaku, face close to hers thanks to his position. His hand was on the door jamb, stretched out above him, and he was leaning his weight on it.

His mouth opened, eyes wide as he took in her no-doubt swollen face and angry expression. “I said go _away._ Nothing you say could convince me to change my mind. You made your position on me clear the morning after we - after we -”

She turned and took a few steps back into her apartment when her anger left her just as suddenly as it appeared and she wrapped her arms around her middle. “Shikaku. Please, don’t try to convince me again. I can’t stand it.”

She heard him come inside and the sound of the door closing softly behind him. “Hinata. Let me say this, and then, if you want me to leave, I will.”

Hinata squeezed her eyes shut and took a shuddering breath. “Fine,” she whispered, defeated. She shuffled across the room to the kitchen to stand in front of the sink and turned the water to cold. “Sit down, I’ll make some tea.”

Her voice was dull and lifeless, a reflection of her sudden exhaustion. She leaned over and splashed water on her face, rinsing away the tears and snot. She groped for the paper towel roll and tugged one down and off, then wiped the moisture from her skin.

“Hinata, I don’t want any damn tea. I want you to look at me.”

She braced her hands on either side of the sink. She took a deep steadying breath and gathered her strength. It was important that they talk this out. From now on, their lives were intertwined, no matter how painful it would be for her.

She turned around, but that was as far as she could push her courage. Her eyes remained pointed downwards, studying the off-white tile at her feet. He sighed, and then a pair of large feet, covered in boots, appeared in her vision. A moment later two warm fingers pressed at the skin beneath her chin and she let them tilt her face up.

Her heart clenched the way it always did when she saw him. He was a handsome man, with high cheekbones and skin a few shades darker than her own. His eyes were what drew her in, though, the way they took everything in with a steadiness that made her feel truly seen.

She licked her lips and when he dropped his hand she didn’t try to turn away. He pulled in a deep breath and when he spoke his voice was rougher than usual. “I’ve tried to forget that night, you know.”

Hinata flinched and his brow furrowed when she tried to step around him. He reached out and put his hand on her arm. “I tried to forget because all I’ve wanted to do since is find you and beg you to give me another chance.”

Hinata’s looked back at his face, shock stopping all movement as she tried to get a clue of what he was thinking. His expression softened and his fingers spread out across her arm. Despite her distress goosebumps spread from where he was touching her.

“That morning, I was an asshole. I know it, and I’m sorry. I thought I was protecting you. I _was_ protecting you.”

Hinata frowned. “Protecting me from what?”

“From the consequences of being with me. I knew that we were already in deep. If you felt half as much for me that I do for you...we were nearing a point where I wouldn’t be able to let you go unless you told me to leave. And I’m a damn good manipulator, so who knows how long it would have taken you to come to your senses. I couldn’t risk my selfishness, not when it would create a difficult situation for you.”

“Consequences?” She probably sounded like an idiot, but she was confused. Extremely confused, and a little annoyed that he thought he could manipulate her into loving him. Hinata had a lot of weaknesses, but not knowing her own heart had never been one of them.

“Yes. How would your friends react to you dating Shikamaru’s father? And I can’t imagine your father or Neji would approve. Not to mention the busybodies of the village.”

Hinata stepped back and gently pulled her arm from his grip. “Are you saying you treated me so badly because you were afraid people would mistreat me?”

Shikaku rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “Yes. I guess in the end it didn’t work out very well.”

Hinata continued to stare at him and he cleared his throat. She thought she might be making him nervous with her lack of reaction because she would almost call what he did next babbling. “Hinata, you said I didn’t care for you, but you couldn’t be further from the truth. I love you. I fell in love with you somewhere between Konoha and Iron and I haven’t stopped.”

Hinata licked her lips. “I...imagined you saying something like that so many times, these past weeks.” There was a strange feeling growing in her chest, a sharp sort of numbness.

Shikaku let out a long breath and took a small step towards her. “So, you see, there’s no reason for us not to be a family -”

“And what about the next time you decide to ‘protect’ me?”

He stopped talking and he seemed less sure than he had a few seconds before. “I admit I miscalculated -”

“Miscalculated?” Oh, that’s what she was feeling. Betrayal. Her voice was eerily calm and tears were the last thing on her mind. “You broke my heart. You took what you wanted from me, and then you...you treated me like I was _nothing.”_

He looked pained and she stepped around him and crossed the kitchen in a few quick steps when he reached for her. “Hinata, I know I messed up -”

“If I wasn’t pregnant, would we be having this conversation? Or would you still be protecting me?” Her voice was so quiet she wondered if he’d heard her.

Shikaku stood on the other side of the kitchen, arms hanging at his side. He looked the way he had when she’d first announced she was pregnant - taken off guard. He’d really expected her to just accept his words. To trust him.

“People are always underestimating my strength because I’m kind and prefer to defend instead of destroy.” She swallowed. “I thought when you requested me as a guard...when you asked for my opinions and looked at _me_ when I spoke, not the Hyuuga princess - the _rejected_ Hyuuga princess - that you understood. I was wrong. You’re just like everybody else.”

“No. I know you’re strong. I do.” He stepped towards her and she took another step back, shaking her head slowly.

“So strong that I couldn’t decide on my own who I wanted to love? Strong enough to withstand the disapproval of others to be with the man I love? No. You looked at me and found me wanting.”

“Hina -“

“I thought you couldn’t hurt me worse than you already did. I was wrong.”

“Hinata.” His voice was strangled, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

“You promised you’d leave if I asked. I’d like you to go, now.”

A horrible silence fell before being broken by the sound of footsteps. The numbness was leaving, hurt rushing into its place, and tears began to leak from beneath her closed lids.

“Hinata.” His voice was gravelly and wavered in a way she’d never heard from him before. “I messed up. You’re right, I should have treated you like an equal. I just...I’m not used to this. I’ll prove that I do love you and that I see your strength. I promise.”

The door closing was loud in the silence and Hinata brought her hand to her mouth to muffle the sob that escaped. How was she supposed to believe anything he said? Despite her words, she had to admit that he’d already manipulated her neatly these past months, making her believe that he didn’t love her. How could she trust him, now?

000

“You’re an idiot,” Inoichi said in a wondering voice he only used when somebody did something particularly stupid. Shikaku looked over at Chouza but found no sympathy from that quarter.

“The state of my intelligence is not what we’re here to discuss,” he grumbled.

“Oh, I beg to differ,” Inoichi said before draining a cup of sake. “This is just...spectacularly dumb, even for you. You fell in love with a girl half your age, slept with her, decided to pull some overbearing protective bullshit -”

“Bullshit seems like a harsh -”

“- pined for her for weeks -”

“I was not _pining -”_

“And then after you found out she was pregnant just announced that you would be getting married. After breaking her heart. Now you’re all surprised that she’s kicked you to the curb. Also, did I mention she’s half your age? And one of your son’s close friends?”

“Yeah, you mentioned it.” Shikaku stared down at his cup, well aware that he just had to wait Inoichi out when he got this way. Eventually, he and Chouza would get past their general disapproval of his life decisions and then move on to helping him with the fallout.

Actually, it did sound pretty bad when it was laid out like that. Hinata deserved so much better than him. He slumped over his cup and ignored the curious looks other people in the restaurant were shooting them. Apparently, he and Hinata had made a bit of scene that day, which is why his two friends had found him and dragged him out to their usual dinner spot.

“More importantly,” Chouza said in his slow, thoughtful way, “have you considered that Hiashi may legitimately murder you?”

“Ah...it had occurred to me, yeah.” He’d already thought up four countermeasures to both sneak and full-frontal attacks by enraged Hyuuga.

“Good god, when you step in it, you really step in it.”

“Like that time on the mission to Iwa -”

“With the male prostitutes that convinced him -”

“That’s enough,” he said and sank lower in his seat at Chouza’s booming laugh and Inoichi’s ‘manly’ giggle.

“Alright, alright, I can see you’re upset. Well, before you decided you were the authority on her love life, she seemed to like you, yes?”

Shikaku thought about a dinner they’d shared in Iron at an outdoor cafe, where the food had been so spicy that Shikaku had only been able to eat half after downing multiple cups of milk. Hinata had serenely eaten her whole bowl of curry with only a bit of sweat at her hairline and had giggled at his sulking after. She’d tipped her head to the side and said, “Don’t pout, Shikaku. Hyuuga have strong constitutions. It’s not your fault.”

Her gentle teasing and the fondness on her face had soothed his ruffled feathers and he remembered thinking, _I want her to look at me like that always._

Chouze whistled lowly and Shikaku’s attention was pulled back to their table. “Inoichi, he’s got it bad.”

Inoichi’s lips were pressed together and he was looking at Shikaku with a serious expression. “I’ve never seen that look on your face. The closest was the first time you saw Shikamaru, but that was different, obviously.”

Shikaku didn’t bother denying it. “She asked me if I would have ever tried to get her back if she weren’t pregnant.”

Inoichi leaned forward. “And?”

Shikaku swirled the clear alcohol in his cup around. “I had already half-convinced myself to find an excuse to see her. I was searching for missions that I could claim needed me personally, just so I could request her as a guard. I started taking a shortcut to work that actually added ten minutes to my walk so I could pass by her apartment building every day because I was hoping to run into her.”

“So you were stalking her,” Inoichi said with a snort and winced when Chouza kicked his leg under the table.

“No. No, I just...wanted to see her,” Shikaku said quietly. “I would have given in eventually.”

“Did you tell her that?”

Shikaku leaned back against the booth. “I couldn’t. She wouldn’t have believed me, not right then.”

“Yeah, probably not.” Inoichi tapped a finger against his lip. “Well, this won’t be easy. Especially for you.”

Shikaku’s eyes narrowed at Inoichi’s self-satisfied expression. “What do you mean?”

“Well, the only way to prove that you’re sincere is to actually be completely and totally sincere.”

Shikaku exchanged a look with Chouza, but he seemed to be just as lost as he was. “Alright?”

Inoichi sighed. “I mean, you need to honestly pursue her. No hidden agendas, no manipulations, no scheming or plans beyond what kind of flowers you want to buy her.”

“No scheming at all?”

“Nope.”

“So if I wanted to -”

“No.”

“But what if -”

“Don’t.”

“Well, if I’m not allowed to scheme, how am I supposed to fix this?”

Chouza put his large hand on his shoulder. “I think what Inoichi is trying to say, is that you should be up front. If you show up because you miss her, let her know that’s why you’re there. And if you miss her, go visit her without overthinking it. Tell her how you’re feeling when you’re feeling it. And don’t try to manipulate the events of a situation to work in your favor or to get her to do what you think is best for her.”

“You mean like I did in Iron.”

“Exactly like that.” Inoichi pointed at him before pouring his sake. “I know it’s hard for you. Believe me, I’m aware of how often you’ve gotten me to do what you want me to do of my own volition, without you ever having to even say anything. But it’s the only way to convince her that you know you were a major asshole and that you’re sorry,”

“Alright, alright, I get it. I’m a manipulative bastard.”

Shikaku ignored their grins and took a deep breath. Okay. No scheming. He could do that. He’d start tomorrow and surprise her with flowers. First, he’d need to figure out her schedule, and then if he timed it right - he jolted when Chouza smacked the back of his head.

“You’re already doing it again,” he said, exasperated.

Shikaku sank down lower in his seat when Inoichi covered his eyes with one hand.

Okay, this was going to be harder than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Shikaku.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikaku turns sucking up into an art form, and Hiashi's dignity takes a literal hit.

Hinata’s second day at the missions desk was going smoothly. She’d spent the first day following a chunin named Kana around and learning the ropes. It wasn’t difficult, really.

Hinata was working intakes, which was much simpler than the open missions desks, where shinobi who wanted to pick up a job would go to get assigned D and C and sometimes B ranks that hadn’t had a specific team bookmarked for them. That required a more complex understanding of the type of people needed to complete each mission, along with familiarity with shinobi who came in to collect open missions.

Hinata’s job involved shinobi handing in their completed reports to her. She’d look over them to make sure all of the information was correct and that there were no red flags that needed follow up. Then she’d either send the reports to be processed or ask the shinobi to change the report. Sometimes, she’d send them to the appropriate commander to verbally check in if something unexpected had happened.

Overall, she had been treated kindly by all the shinobi and kunoichi and was enjoying meeting more of their forces. It wasn’t until the end of her shift that she ran into what Kana had referred to as one of their ‘problem children.’

“I’m sorry, sir, but you haven’t filled section E out correctly. If you were forced to incur expenses, you need to provide an itemized list and reason -”

“I’ve been serving this village for fifteen years!” The man drew himself up so that he loomed over her.

Hinata may be half his size, but she was also a tokubetsu jounin and could more than take care of herself. She wasn’t intimidated. “And I’m grateful for your service. However, you still need to fill out the itemized list.” She smiled up at him, but it faltered when his face turned an alarming shade of red.

“You clan shinobi think you’re so much better than everyone else,” he growled.

Hinata’s brow furrowed. This seemed like a major overreaction to her request. “Sir, did something happen to you on the mission? Were you injured?”

There were a few snickers around them from other shinobi waiting in line and Hinata grimaced. Okay, maybe he was just always this difficult. The man leaned over the desk, more enraged than he had been before her honestly concerned question after the laughter of his comrades.

“Listen here.” Hinata glanced over when she saw movement a few feet away and missed whatever he said next. Shikaku was standing a few feet away and was staring at the man currently learning further into her space like he was going to tear him apart.

The expression should have looked odd paired with the bouquet of flowers in his hand, but she had a feeling he could pull off ‘prepare to die’ under any circumstances. Hinata shook her head at him when he took a step towards them and he faltered.

She turned her attention back to the shinobi once she was sure Shikaku wouldn't intervene. Hinata wouldn’t have taken this job if she thought she couldn’t handle a cranky ninja or two.

“Sir, I’m sorry you’re frustrated, but I won’t approve it until you fill out every section correctly.” She smiled at him, one that she’d been assured was very soothing.

It didn’t work. He leaned forward and reached for her arm, mouth open and brows drawn down into a glower. Hinata activated her Byakugan while both Kana and Shikaku had moved towards them. She struck quickly and efficiently and a few seconds later both of the shinobi’s arms hung limply at his sides. He stumbled back a step, face white. Hinata’s smile didn’t falter as she stood and picked up the scroll his numb fingers had dropped after she’d hit the pressure points in his shoulders.

She ignored his flinch when she leaned over the desk to tuck it into a pocket on his flak jacket. She patted it before sitting back down. “There. Don’t worry, you’ll regain feeling in an hour or so. Please fill that out and return it. If you need extra assistance, visit the helpdesk around the corner.” She folded her hands in her lap and then leaned around the still-gaping man to smile at a pair of giggling young kunoichi.

She gestured towards the mission report she could see in one of their hands and they walked around him to hand it to her. Hinata felt the eyes of the room on her as she looked over their work, but other than her cheeks heating she tried not to react.

Kana had warned her that she’d probably have to assert herself fairly quickly. Ninja tended to be a rowdy bunch, and the higher they were on the food chain the less likely they were to care for social niceties. Of course, Hinata doubted that she had meant that she should use her Gentle Fist Technique on someone on her second day. She had more than herself to protect now, though, and couldn’t allow someone to treat her roughly.

Her shoulders relaxed when the shinobi slunk out of the room under Shikaku’s fierce glare. “This looks good. Thank you for your hard work,” she said to the two young women, who grinned before waving and leaving.

“Ah, Hinata, you really showed Atsuo what was what!” Kana’s cheerful voice said from behind her. “He’s always giving us trouble. I told him the next time he touched one of us I’d file a complaint, but he hasn't been right since the war.”

Hinata glanced up at her, but Kana’s gaze was focused on Shikaku, who was now leaning against the wall next to the door. He was still holding flowers. Hinata looked down at the table in front of her and tried her best not to combust from embarrassment.

Hinata hadn’t forgotten what he’d said before he left two nights ago. She’d thought of little else when she wasn’t worrying about what kind of mother she’d be or how she was going to break the news to her father and friends. There was little doubt he was waiting for her, especially since his eyes remained glued to her as she said goodbye to Kana. She clasped her hands in front of her and ignored the eyes in the room watching when she walked over to stand in front of him.

“Commander,” she greeted and he straightened.

“Hinata. I was wondering if I could walk you home.”

“I can get home fine on my own.” Her voice sounded stilted even to herself and she heard somebody snort and then attempt to cover it with a cough.

“I know you can take care of yourself,” he said steadily, eyes never leaving her face. His lips quirked up into the half-smile that never failed to send her pulse racing. “I think poor Atsuo knows it now, too.”

There was some definite snickering from the people around them now and Hinata chewed on her bottom lip. Shikaku’s gaze rested there for a moment before flicking back up to her eyes. “I just wanted to spend time with you, is all.”

Hinata blinked rapidly and she could feel her blush deepening. He seemed sincere, and it was hard to doubt that he meant it. “Oh,” she squeaked. “I...alright.”

There was a whistle and somebody said, “Better keep your hands to yourself, Commander, if you don’t want to end up like Atsuo!”

Shikaku raised an eyebrow in the direction of the person who had spoken and conversation pointedly picked up around them as people tried to pretend they weren’t eavesdropping. Hinata brought her hands to her cheeks in an attempt to cool them and turned to leave the room, walking rapidly.

Shikaku fell into step next to her, though he didn’t say anything until they were outside. “I brought these for you,” he said and Hinata jolted when he practically shoved the flowers at her. She realized that she wasn’t the only one feeling nervous.

“Oh. Um, thank you.” She accepted them from him and stared down at the colorful petals. “These must be from Ino’s shop. They’re so pretty.”

“Yeah, Inoichi put it together for me.”

Hinata chewed on the inside of her cheek. “So, then, did you tell him...?”

Shikaku had shoved his hands into his pockets as soon as she took the flowers, though he was walking close enough to her that their arms kept brushing. “Yeah.” He paused. “Sorry, I should have asked you first. They could tell something was up, and I’m used to telling them everything.”

Hinata shrugged and let out a breath of relief when she turned onto a less crowded street and escaped the interested eyes that were watching them. “Well, I can’t stop you from telling who you want, but if you could ask them to keep it to themselves for a few more weeks, I’d like to wait before telling my friends and family.”

“Hinata.” She stopped when he touched her shoulder lightly and turned to look up at him.

They were standing under a tree on a section of the sidewalk that was mostly empty. A woman was walking on the other side of the street, but she wasn’t paying them any attention.

“I want this to be a partnership.”

She opened her mouth to argue but he held up a hand. “Whether we ever try to make this work romantically or not,” he said firmly and she calmed when she realized he wasn’t trying to push her on the relationship issue. He sighed and looked up into the branches of the tree. The leaves were in the midst of turning orange, thanks to the cooler weather they'd been having. “I know I haven’t proven myself very trustworthy, and I’m sorry for that. But I want to be involved in this any way I can. Any way you’ll let me.”

He cleared his throat and Hinata stared at him, taken off guard by his earnestness. She’d never seen him this way. He ran a hand down his face and looked to the side. “Of course, what I said before still stands. If you ever decide to give me another chance romantically...well, I’m here.”

“Oh,” she said and looked down at the flowers. “Commander, I -”

“Shikaku. Please, I don’t know if I can handle the mother of my child calling me _Commander.”_

Hinata’s lips turned up into a smile despite herself at his annoyed tone. That was much more familiar from their time together. She’d always thought his grumpiness was kind of cute and it relaxed something in her to see it now. “Shikaku. I don’t know if I can trust you with my heart again, but I do know you’re a good father. I’d like it if you were involved.”

She frowned at how relieved he looked. She thought back to the day she’d told him about the pregnancy and cringed. She supposed she had been a little dismissive, telling him that she’d talk to him later in the pregnancy to come up with a joint custody agreement. Shikaku must have thought that he wouldn’t have any say in things before that point.

Hinata had been so focused on her hurt feelings that she’d forgotten that this was a big deal for him, too. Of course, he’d want to be involved as much as possible. She’d known from the start that he would be a good father, despite all the rest.

“I have the first ultrasound scheduled this afternoon if you’d like to come.”

“Really? You don’t mind?”

Hinata turned and started walking towards her apartment. She wanted to change into something a little easier to get in and out of before her appointment. “No. I think...it would be nice not to go alone,” she admitted.

He let out a breath and when she glanced over at him he looked frustrated, though she could tell it wasn’t with her. “You don’t have to do any of it alone if you don’t want to. Just ask me, and I’ll be there. For any of it.”

Hinata couldn’t quite help her smile. “Okay. Thank you.”

“That includes money, too,” he said.

Hinata stiffened and he held up his hands as though to ward off her reaction. “I don’t mean that you can’t take care of yourself. I’d be ecstatic if you’d let me pay for everything, but I know that wouldn’t be welcome. Maybe half of any baby-related bills?”

He looked so put out by what he was saying that her giggle escaped her before she could stop it. He raised a brow at her and she ducked her head. “Sorry. You just sounded so grumpy.”

Shikaku sighed. “I’m trying not to be overbearing. It’s a process.”

She laughed and his lips quirked up on one side. She cleared her throat and looked away. It was easy to remember why she’d been drawn to him in the first place when he talked so easily with her. Hinata had to remind herself why she wasn’t willing to be with him romantically. Just because he was making an effort now didn’t mean he was actually different. That he wasn’t just pretending to want her because of the baby, or that he wouldn't change his mind over something silly again.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. When he hesitated outside the front of her building she bit her lip before coming to a decision. “You can wait inside if you want.”

“Alright.”

He followed her up the stairs. Her apartment building wasn’t overly fancy, but it was clean and well maintained and housed mostly shinobi, which meant it was secure. Still, she was a little nervous when his eyes roved the area and his face stayed impassive. Hinata wondered if he was upset that she wanted to raise their child there. She supposed it wasn’t nearly as nice as his house.

She didn’t let herself dwell on that, though. She’d grown up in one of the richest clans in the village and she certainly wouldn’t say her childhood was better for it. Love and acceptance was the best thing to give a child. The fact that she and Shikaku would both have plenty of that to offer was comforting.

“What is it?” Shikaku asked and she realized she was smiling.

“Oh. Nothing. Go ahead and sit, I’ll just be a few minutes.”

She put the flowers into a vase and added water, and after seeing the time, rushed past where Shikaku was lounging on her couch watching her. “I’m going to change. I’ll be right back.”

“Sure.”

Hinata closed her bedroom door and reached behind her to undo the tie on her blouse. She supposed she’d need to go shopping for different clothes eventually. Her thigh-high stockings and shorts weren’t really maternity-style clothes.

She changed into a loose dress that she could pull over her head easily and ran a brush through her hair before hurrying back out to the living room. Shikaku’s gaze moved down her form in obvious appreciation before he unfolded himself slowly from the couch.

He stepped towards her and her stomach swooped. “You look nice.”

“Thank you.”

To her relief, he just tilted his head towards the door instead of commenting on her fluster. “We’ll be late if we don’t head out.”

“Right,” she said and fumbled for her keys, which she’d left on the kitchen counter. She gave the flowers one last lingering look before leading Shikaku out of her apartment.

“It’s cute,” he rumbled when she turned to lock the door and she jumped at how close he was standing to her.

“W-what is?” Her voice came out high pitched and she cleared her throat before stepping away from him and heading for the stairs. The stairwell was empty and the lights were less harsh there than in the hallway outside her apartment.

“Your place. It’s cozy.”

“Thank you. I wasn’t sure what you’d think. I know it’s not...” she trailed off and listened to his steady steps behind her, feeling his gaze on her back.

“It reminds me of you. It’s warm.” Hinata glanced over her shoulder at him, surprised at his words, and stumbled when she saw that his cheeks were a little red.

His eyes widened and he grabbed her arm and tugged her back before she could fall. She ended up spun around and pressed against his chest, her legs having tangled together when she turned. His other arm came up and wrapped around her to steady her.

“Careful,” he said. She glanced up at him. He looked honestly shaken, so she didn’t move away. His chest was firm and she could feel his heat through his shirt. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his sternum.

“I wouldn’t have fallen,” she said in a soft tone. It was true - she had good reflexes as a kunoichi.

“Yeah, I know.” His voice was gruff, though, and he wrapped his other arm around her and tugged her closer. “I’m trying not to overreact to things involving you. Sorry.”

Hinata wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m really scared,” she admitted after a moment of silence.

His chest jerked under her when his breath caught and one of his hands moved up to cup the back of her head. “I know, sweetheart. You’re not alone, though.”

She relaxed when he smoothed it down over her hair. Hinata was still upset about what he’d done, but she needed the comfort after the last few days, so she didn’t pull back for a long few minutes.

“We’re going to be late,” Shikaku finally said, though he sounded like he was already regretting pointing it out.

Hinata nodded and pulled back enough to smile up at him. His expression was soft when he looked down at her and he brought a finger up to tap the end of her nose before loosening his hold around her waist.

“Okay. I’m ready,” she said.

000

Shikaku stared at the screen in front of him, ignoring the sideways looks that the tech had been sending them off and on since he walked in and saw the Jounin Commander and a member of the Rookie 9 sitting in the room.

“You’re sure?” he asked. Hinata’s hand had grasped onto his and was gripping it hard enough to be almost painful.

“Yep. Twins for sure. See here -” Hinata watched avidly as the man leaned over and traced the outlines of the two fetuses. Shikaku was doing his best to wrap his mind around the fact that they needed to prepare for _two._

He really hoped Hinata would decide to forgive him and move in before the due date. This was certainly going to be easier with two people putting in the effort instead of trading on and off. He glanced at her and smiled slightly at the way her lips were parted and her eyes had lit with excitement. She was so damn adorable.

She glanced at him and his smile widened. He ignored the tech’s choked off sound at the rare sight. She beamed back at him. After her admission in the stairwell, he’d been worried she wouldn’t take the news well that there were now two babies to worry about. He really needed to learn to stop underestimating her.

“Well, Dr. Tsubasa will be in to talk to you soon. I’ll give you some privacy,” the man said. Shikaku glanced at him and nodded before turning his attention back to her.

“Are you okay?” he asked as soon as they were alone.

Hinata nodded. “They just...they’re real. They’re going to be so beautiful.”

Shikaku swallowed the lump in his throat at her words. “I assume so if they’re anything like you.”

Her cheeks turned red and he pressed his lips together in an attempt to stop all his damn smiling. “Shikaku...”

He met her gaze squarely, wanting her to see that he meant it. He was pretty sure she stopped breathing and he leaned towards her, the plastic of the cheap chair he was in creaking at the shift of his weight.

Then the door opened and a short, portly woman with large glasses bustled in. “Hello, I’m Dr. Tsubasa, and you must be the parents, yes?”

She was looking down at a clipboard but glanced up when Shikaku said, “That’s right,” while Hinata reached for the box of tissues that was sitting on the stand next to the bed and started wiping off the gel that the tech had smeared onto her stomach.

Dr. Tsubasa’s eyes widened and went from him to Hinata and back before she visibly recovered herself. “Ah. Commander Nara. Hyuuga-san. Hello.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Tsubasa,” Hinata said with that soft smile that had drawn Shikaku’s attention in the first place. It took serious effort to look away. Chouza was right, he did have it bad.

“So, twins, eh?” Dr. Tsubasa said. Shikaku leaned back in his chair and stretched his feet in front of him when the woman sat on a rolling stool and started going over details and what they could expect. Hinata didn’t let go of his hand, which was fine with him.

“Have you had any nausea?” she asked. “Be honest!”

Hinata snapped her mouth shut and looked sheepish enough that Shikaku figured she’d been about to fib. “I have.”

His brow furrowed. “Really? You didn’t tell me that.”

Hinata shrugged and Dr. Tsubasa kept going like he hadn’t spoken. “How often?”

“It depends. I was only ill once today, but sometimes, if I smell something unpleasant or go too long without eating, I’ll be sick more often.”

Shikaku scowled and drummed his fingers on his thigh, already racing through plans to appear next to her with food at appropriate intervals. He listened to Dr. Tsubasa’s list of instructions with one ear, committing it to memory, but kept his gaze on Hinata.

They’d barely left the hospital before he spoke. “When did you eat last? Are you feeling okay?”

Hinata blinked up at him. “Oh. It has been awhile, but I’m fine. I’ll make something when I get home.”

“Can I take you to get something?”

It took real effort not to just start leading her off to a restaurant, but he heard Inoichi in his head telling him to keep it cool. When she hesitated he swallowed his pride and added, “Please? I’ll worry if I just drop you off without making sure you’ve eaten.”

“Oh.” She paused before nodding. “Okay.”

Huh. A point for open communication. “Any requests?”

They went out for noodles and he kept the conversation on light subjects until she’d finished most of her food. At one point she’d giggled and his gaze had gone from her plate to her face. “What?”

“Shikaku...I’m fine, you know. You don’t need to worry so much.”

He slouched down and looked away from her. “Yeah. I know. Sorry.”

Hinata shrugged and he brought his attention to his own food. “So,” he said a few minutes later. “Twins.”

She bit her lip and set her chopsticks down. “Yes,” she said carefully. “That was a surprise, though maybe it shouldn’t have been.” At his interested look, she smiled. “Twins do run in my family.”

“Right. Your father and Hizashi.”

“That’s right. And their father had a twin sister.”

“Damn. It really does run in the family.”

“Is it, I mean, are you...?”

Shikaku sighed and wiped his mouth with a napkin. He supposed this was one of those moments where he was supposed to be clear about his feelings. “Hinata. I’m more than okay with it. I’m honestly excited. Partly because I already love them - they’re my kids after all - and mostly because it’s you I’m having them with. I know that might be screwed up since I’m not your favorite person at the moment for understandable reasons. But I love you, and I know you’ll be a good mother. I can’t help but be happy about it.”

She stared at him with wide eyes. “I - I have to go,” she said and stumbled out of the booth.

“Hinata -”

She looked down at the floor. “I’m sorry, but. When you say things like that, I can’t tell if you mean them, or if you’re just trying to convince me to marry you.”

He breathed out at the verbal blow. “It’s fair, I suppose, that you can’t trust I’m being upfront with you all the time. But, Hinata, do you really think I’d lie about something like that?”

“I don’t - I’m not - I just have to go.”

He leaned back and didn’t try to go after her when she fled, deciding to let her have her space. He couldn’t make her believe him, after all. He’d just have to show her.

He paid their bill and took his time on his way home, allowing himself to sulk over how the day had ended. Still, the thought of the two little blobs on the screen had his chest warming. Even if Hinata never agreed to be with him, he couldn’t deny he was looking forward to being a father again.

Shikaku wasn’t surprised when he found Shikamaru in his kitchen when he got home. He was drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette and Shikaku snorted when he caught sight of him. “Enjoying the time out of the house, huh?”

“This way I can blame you for smelling like cigarette smoke,” Shikamaru said. He was leaning on one elbow, cheek tucked into the palm of his hand. He looked relaxed, but Shikaku knew this wasn’t a social visit.

Shikamaru didn’t bother beating around the bush. “So. You’re dating Hinata.” The grapevine had moved quickly. It’d barely been three hours since they left the admin building.

Shikaku shrugged. “Trying to marry her, actually.”

Shikamaru had been mid-inhale when he said that and he choked and sputtered. Shikaku took it as an opportunity to grab his own beer and sit down across from him. He reached for Shikamaru’s pack of cigarettes and lighter, which he’d tossed on the table. There were already two butts in the ashtray.

He’d just finished his first drag when Shikamaru managed to stop coughing. “What the hell? Temari thought you were just going through some mid-life crisis and sent me here to kick your ass for messing with Hinata.”

“Hmm. Sounds like Temari.”

“Dad.” He glanced up and sighed at Shikamaru’s frown and worried eyes.

“We’re not ready to start telling people, so you need to keep this between you and Temari.” He reached across the table and tapped the ash from the end of his cigarette into the tray.

“Alright,” Shikamaru said, watching him closely with a sort of dawning horror.

“Hinata’s pregnant.” The words send warmth coursing through him and he hoped he didn’t look as smitten as he was feeling.

“What.” Shikamaru’s tone was flat and unimpressed.

Shikaku pointed at him. “We’re both happy about it, so I don’t want to hear any shit.”

“So you’re, what, dating?” Shikamaru sounded incredulous, and Shikaku could honestly feel for him. He’d been just as shocked when Hinata had returned his interest.

“Ah, no, not exactly.” He rubbed the back of his neck and studied the pictures hanging on the fridge. Most of them were of a young Shikamaru.

“Okay, so you had a one night stand and now she’s knocked up?”

“Not...exactly.”

Shikamaru took a deep breath, then grabbed his beer and took a long pull from it. Had he always been this dramatic? “Dad, I’m gonna need you to give me something to go on, here, because I’m honestly feeling a little pissed off. I know Hinata - there’s no way she’d sleep with you or anybody else casually. She’s just not wired that way.”

Shikaku grimaced. “I may have done something stupid, and now I’m in the midst of what Inoichi called ‘intensive groveling.’”

Shikamaru stared at him, then snorted and picked up his cigarette. “How’s that going for you?”

He sounded truly sympathetic and Shikaku supposed he was familiar with the act of following the woman you love around in the vain hope that they’d give in and forgive you any time within the next century. Shikamaru was a lot of things, but good at keeping his nose clean when it came to Temari wasn’t one of them.

“Not great,” he admitted. “She seems to think half of what comes out of my mouth is manipulation, and that I don’t respect her to handle her own life.”

Shikamaru raised a brow. “Well, I mean...”

“Yeah, I know, don’t say it. I’m trying to be less...just less.”

Shikamaru’s lips twitched. “Well, good for her.”

Shikaku glared at him and Shikamaru shrugged. “What? If she can’t stand up to you and tell you when you need to butt out, you’ll never make it long term. So. I’m gonna be a brother, huh?”

“Yep.”

“That is so weird. My kid’s uncle or aunt is going to be younger than him.”

“Ah, it’s twins, actually.”

Shikamaru choked on his beer and Shikaku leaned back in his seat and grinned. Yeah, he still had it.

000

Hinata flushed the toilet and hefted herself up from where she was kneeling on the floor to stand in front of the mirror. She actually looked okay, for having just thrown up for five minutes straight.

She couldn’t wait until this part of being pregnant passed. She grabbed her toothbrush and ignored her lingering nausea. She had to hurry if she didn’t want to be late for work.

She smoothed down her hair after she’d brushed her teeth and made sure there wasn’t any throw up in it before heading out. She rushed her way down the stairs and out the front door, shivering when the cool air hit her. She really should have grabbed a coat, but it was too late to go back.

Shikaku was leaning against the wall of her building, just as he had been almost every day for the last two and a half weeks. He had a large parka on over his uniform and straightened when he saw her.

“Where’s your coat?” he said, then grimaced.

Hinata twisted her lips to keep from smiling. He’d been careful not to seem overbearing or treat her as less than an equal partner, to the point where she thought it had gotten a little ridiculous.

“I forgot it, and I’ll be late if I go back. It’s fine, it isn’t far.”

She eagerly accepted the yogurt he passed her, knowing it would help with the odd mix of nausea and hunger she tended to suffer from every morning. She’d just taken her first bite when a warm weight fell over her shoulders. She blinked at the parka he’d draped over her and glanced at him.

She pulled the spoon from her mouth and swallowed. He was walking next to her, hands in his pockets, and trying to look like he hadn’t just made such a sweet gesture.

“You’ll be cold -”

“I’m fine,” he said gruffly. “Eat up. I’ll bring you some tea after I drop you off.”

Usually, they stopped for a cup on their way. Herbal for her, and strong green tea for him. “Oh, you don’t have to, it’s my fault for being late...”

She took another bite to keep herself from reacting to the affectionate look on his face. “I don’t mind. I know you have a hard time waking up without it.”

She ate more of her breakfast instead of saying anything sappy. The coat smelled like him and was warm from his body heat. Shikaku had been extremely attentive the past two weeks, but other than a few instances he’d been unobtrusive. The coat was just one nice gesture in a long list of them.

He walked her to and from work, no matter what odd shift she’d been working. On days where she was tired and feeling more ill than usual, he always looked a little pained, like it was all he could do not to offer to pay her rent so she could relax. Hinata sometimes wondered what their situation would be like if he’d reacted differently that morning in Iron. She imagined waking up next to him, and walking with him to their shared home instead of him leaving at her door at night.

They’d gone out to dinner and lunch enough times that people had started to talk, but luckily Neji was too busy to designate a lot of time trying to track her down and Kiba and Shino were out on missions. Kurenai and her father didn’t pay much attention to gossip, so she thought that they probably had no idea what was happening.

Ino and Sakura were easily avoided, for now, and though she knew Shikaku had told Shikamaru he hadn’t actively sought her out yet. She wondered if he was upset with her. This whole situation was probably so strange for him.

She finished her breakfast just as they got to the administration building. Shikaku took the plastic spoon and empty container from her and dropped a kiss on her head. “I’ll be right back.”

It wasn’t until he’d already disappeared from view that she remembered she was wearing his coat. Kana grinned when she saw her in it. “Interesting style choice.”

Hinata blushed and pulled it around her for a moment, breathing in the smell of his soaps and dried grass, before taking it off and putting it over the back of her chair. There was a break room where they could hang their jackets and store their things, but she didn’t want to chance something happening to it before he came back to claim it.

Ino and Sakura strode in a few minutes later. Their eyes scanned the room, and when they fell on her their faces resembled Akamaru's when he spotted unattended food.

She took a deep breath and pasted a smile on her face. “Ino, Sakura. I’m working, but I’m sure I could -”

Ino smirked and slammed a mission report down on the desk with an air of triumph. Hinata blinked down at it before reaching forward with a feeling of dread and turning it so she could read it.

“This is...a D-rank.”

Ino flapped her hand. “It’s all they had available on short notice. I hope you’re happy, my nails are _ruined._ Now, tell us why you’re avoiding us.”

Hinata’s jaw dropped and she looked between Sakura and Ino. For all their differences, they sure were alike in a lot of ways. They both had their arms crossed over their chests and their brows were raised. She couldn’t believe they’d picked up a D-rank just so they could corner her at work.

She chewed on the inside of her lip and tried to buy herself some time by looking over the report. It was filled out perfectly, of course. She glanced behind them, but they’d timed their arrival well - there was nobody waiting behind them.

“I haven’t been,” she said in a high voice.

Ino put a hand to her forehead and Sakura’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a kunoichi, you’re supposed to be good at lying. Hinata, are you really dating Shika’s dad?”

“Um.”

“And why are you working at the _missions desk?_ Uh, no offense,” Sakura tacked on when Kana bristled where she was looking through a pile of scrolls behind Hinata.

“Well. Um. That is...”

“Ladies. Are you bothering Hinata while she’s trying to work?” Shikaku had just entered the room, and his lips were curled up in amusement. He had a cup of tea in his hand, and he sauntered over and put it on the desk by her hand. “There you go, sweetheart.”

Ino’s jaw dropped and Sakura made a sound that was half gasp, half strangling cat. “Um. Thank you. I - I have your coat?”

He smiled at her and her cheeks heated. “Keep it. I have a meeting and can’t walk you home today. I can bring you dinner when I’m done and pick it up then.”

“Okay,” she said faintly, aware of the hard stares that the other three women in the room were giving them.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and backed up a few steps, keeping his eyes on hers. “Have a good day, Hinata.”

“Uh. You too.”

“Ino, Sakura, come on,” he said in his usual apathetic voice.

Ino looked like it physically pained her to walk away, and Sakura kept looking back at her over her shoulder. Hinata had a feeling her days of avoiding everyone were over.

She was right. Neji was waiting for her when she stepped out of the administration building after her shift. His gaze paused on the coat she’d put on not sixty seconds ago with a small smile on her face and she froze.

“Ah...big brother Neji. Hello.”

“Hinata. I was hoping to catch you. Your father and sister miss you, as do I. Will you come to tea?”

Hinata looked down at the ground and nodded. From the stiff way he spoke, she knew that he suspected or had heard something about her situation. Most likely Ino had not kept what happened that morning to herself. She straightened her spine and fell into step next to him as she reminded herself that she was not ashamed of her children.

Hinata wasn’t even ashamed of what had happened with Shikaku. She couldn’t be, not when she loved him. She bit her lip at the thought. It was no less true now than it had been three months ago.

“How are things with the clan?” she asked to fill the silence.

“They're fine,” he said shortly.

“Oh. That’s good.” She didn’t try to speak again, nerves getting the better of her.

Hinata nodded hello to the guard at the gate and smiled, though she was sure it was pained. Her morning sickness was threatening to make an appearance, probably thanks to her stress levels unexpectedly rising.

Still, she managed to keep her lunch down (brought to her by Shikaku’s assistant - he really was overly concerned with her eating schedule) and only hesitated for a moment before handing the large parka over to an attendant.

Her throat felt parched and her legs were trembly by the time she followed Neji into the room where she’d taken countless tea times with her family. Hiashi stood and Hanabi offered her a wary smile when she entered.

“Father,” she greeted and moved over to kiss his cheek.

“Hinata. Please, sit.”

She sank down into her usual spot next to Hanabi. She smiled at her when she poured her some tea and then stared down at it. Green tea. A cup would be fine, she knew, but still, she’d done her best to avoid caffeine.

“Is something wrong?”

“Oh! Um, no, this looks good, father. Thank you.” 

He didn’t waste any time with small talk. “How have your missions been going?”

“Oh, well. I’ve...actually been working at the missions desk recently.”

“I had heard something to that effect, though I admit I didn’t believe it. Your skills seem wasted there. Is it a punishment for something?”

Hinata turned the teacup in her hands and shook her head. “No. I requested it since I’m currently unable to do active missions due to being on medical leave.”

Neji stirred at that. “Are you ill or injured? Why did you not come to me?”

Hinata knew what he meant. If a member of the clan was unable to work because they were sick or had been hurt, they received a stipend until they were back on their feet. Technically, her pregnancy would allow for a stipend, as well, but she didn’t want to ask for it, knowing people’s probable reaction. "I'm not ill," she whispered.

“Then why are you on medical leave? Does it have anything to do with the rumors concerning you and Nara Shikaku?”

Hinata closed her eyes. “It does.”

“Hinata.” Her father’s voice was low and angry and she knew better than to put it off any longer. 

“I’m pregnant.”

A heavy silence fell over the table and when she opened her eyes both Neji and Hiashi were staring at her. Hanabi was looking down at her tea with wide eyes, probably wishing she was far away.

“What did you just say?” 

Hinata cleared her throat and lifted her chin, meeting her father’s eyes calmly. “I’m pregnant. Shikaku is the father.”

“And what,” Hiashi said in a controlled voice that she knew held a deep rage beneath it, “does Nara intend to do about it?”

“He’s going to be involved,” she said.

Hiashi stood so quickly that Hinata flinched at the movement. “What of marriage?”

Neji was staring at her with open disbelief that turned quickly to anger at her next words. “He offered. I said no.”

Hinata kept her spine straight. Her father was pale and tense. “Did he hurt you?”

Hinata pushed herself to her feet, swaying when the motion made her dizzy. “No! No, of course not. I just...I didn’t want to marry for such a reason.”

“You seemed perfectly content sleeping with him, though.”

Hinata flinched at Neji’s harsh words. “That’s not your concern.”

“It is. You’re a member of my clan. Without a father taking responsibility, we’ll be forced to -”

“No. I’ve decided to handle it on my own. But thank you for your concern, Neji.”

“Enough!” Hiashi snapped. “You will go to Nara, and you will agree to marry him, or you will move back into the compound. I will not have my unmarried, pregnant daughter flaunting her mistake -”

“They’re not a mistake!” Her voice came out high and wobbly and Hiashi stopped talking abruptly. She put her hand over her stomach. “Father, I understand that you’re afraid for me. But my children are not a mistake. No matter the circumstances of their birth. And I will not act like they are something to be ashamed of, or allow anybody else to do so.”

Hiashi just continued to stare at her and Hinata’s heart sank. Her father had calmed in recent years, become softer. She’d been harboring hope that he would accept this - accept her and his grandchildren. But all she saw on his face was disappointment and heartache.

Her eyes filled with tears and a sharp, aching pain opened in her chest. Unable to stand his expression anymore, she spun on her heel and ran from the room. She didn’t stop, not even to put on her shoes. She dashed from the compound in her borrowed house slippers, barely noting the fat, cold raindrops that fell on her face.

She ignored Hanabi’s voice calling her name when she passed the gates. It only took her a few minutes to arrive on her street, and by that point, it was raining steadily. She stopped in front of her building and wiped at her eyes. All of the stress of the past few weeks had culminated in that one moment when her father had looked at her with such dissatisfaction. It was the way he used to regard her when she was a child and she could never quite do anything right.

Hinata dashed to the corner of the building and leaned over, stomach heaving as she emptied its contents onto the ground, unable to stave off her nausea. Her face was wet with tears and rain and she was glad nobody was around to see how pathetic she was.

She’d barely had the thought before large, warm hands were pulling her hair back and Shikaku’s voice broke through her misery. “Hinata, what happened?” 

She heaved again and made a low, miserable sound and he swore. “You’re soaking wet. Where's your coat? Are you crying?” He sounded so distressed that it made fresh tears gather in her eyes.

She spat a few times and wiped her nose on her sleeve. She then turned and pressed against him, catching sight of his concerned expression and the bags he’d set next to his feet before she pushed her face into his shoulder.

“Hinata, what is it?” He wrapped his arms around her and she only realized how cold she was when she felt the heat of his body against her own. She just shook her head and kept crying into his shoulder.

That had been so much worse than she’d imagined. Hinata had gotten used to being able to rely on her family the past five years, and having them look at her that way was just too much.

Shikaku made a low, soothing sound and started moving them towards the front door. “Are your keys in your pocket? We can -”

Hinata stumbled when his body was torn from her and his words cut off. She looked up and her eyes widened when she saw his body was sailing through the air. He spun and landed on his feet facing her about ten feet away, mud flying up behind him as he slid back with his momentum.

Hinata followed his suddenly-hard gaze and she blinked rapidly when she saw that Neji was standing next to her, rain plastering his hair to his face and neck. He was holding Shikaku’s parka draped over one arm, her sandals hanging from his hand. The other was flung out to the side in the direction Shikaku had flown, and Hinata gaped when she realized he’d literally tossed him off of her.

He was giving Shikaku a cold, narrow-eyed look. “Nara. Leave.”

Hinata’s mouth parted at his clipped words and Shikaku returned his glare before sighing and straightening. He shoved his hands in his pockets and Hinata was relieved when he slouched over, obviously unharmed.

“Sorry, Hyuuga. I can’t do that, not while Hinata’s upset and unwell. I’m guessing you know why, by your reaction to my presence.”

The two of them continued to stare at each other as the rainfall grew heavier around them. Neji looked angrier than Hinata had ever seen him in his adult life and Shikaku looked almost bored, though Hinata doubted he was unaffected. A hysterical laugh bubbled up her throat when she realized it was like a scene from one of the dramas Ino and Sakura liked to watch together.

She slapped a hand over her mouth but couldn’t quite stop the high-pitched sound from escaping her. Both men focused on her and she did her best to straighten her shoulders. “Neji. Please don’t attack Shikaku again.”

Neji straightened and looked almost petulant. “Why not? He’s obviously done something to you if you refuse to marry him despite the situation he’s put you in.”

“This situation is both of our doing, Neji, and you know that. Shikaku is doing the best he can, and I -” she swallowed, hating having to argue with him, but knowing it was important, “-I'm a grown woman. Who I sleep with and what I decide to do with my life is my business. You have no right to attack Shikaku.”

Neji’s fist clenched at his side and his lips twisted. “You’re right,” he finally said, though it was begrudging.

Hinata shoulders released some of their tension and a shiver wracked her body. “I’m taking her inside,” Shikaku said abruptly. “If you want to have this discussion we can do it there.”

“What I’d _like_ is to speak to my cousin alone.” Hinata wrapped her arms around herself and sighed. She supposed it would be too much to ask for Neji to be polite.

Shikaku’s eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth, but then he looked at her and snapped it shut. He seemed like it pained him to do it, but instead of insisting he come inside he said, “Hinata. What do you want to do?”

Hinata hunched her shoulders and looked down at her feet. “I need to speak to Neji alone, Shikaku.”

When she looked up he seemed resigned but not angry. “Fine. I’ll go pick up something for dinner since what I brought is ruined.” Hinata looked at the soggy paper bags sitting in the mud with dismay.

“Oh! I’m sorry -”

Shikaku shook his head. “Just get inside. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He looked at Neji. “Don’t upset her like that again.”

Before Neji could say anything he’d disappeared. Hinata’s lips turned up and her chest warmed despite her lingering sadness and the chill of the weather. Apparently, he could only step back from his protectiveness so much.

“Come on,” Neji urged and she walked up the steps and took out her keys. Her hands were numb with the cold and the keys were slippery in her grasp, but she managed to let them inside.

She winced at the water and mud they dragged in and made a note to come back and clean it up. She was exhausted by the time they got to the top of the stairs and her hands were shaking so badly that Neji had to unlock the door for her.

“Take a warm shower. I’ll make tea,” he said in a no-nonsense tone she knew better than to argue with.

She stumbled into the bathroom and stripped out of her wet clothes and got into the shower. The warm water did feel wonderful against her skin, though she didn’t linger. She returned to the living room ten minutes later, dressed in flannel pajamas and feeling more like herself.

Neji had just set out two cups of tea at the kitchen table and she sat down across from him silently. Her lips turned up when she saw he’d made herbal tea, but she couldn’t hold onto her smile. She wrapped her hands around the mug and took a drink, letting the warmth soothe her.

“I’m sorry for what I said.” Hinata looked up at Neji, who looked as uncomfortable as he always did when he was forced to apologize. “I’m just worried about you. I didn’t react well.”

“I understand,” Hinata said.

He sighed. “As your clan head, I’d like you to move into the compound, where we can protect you and the...you said babies?”

Hinata’s hand went to her stomach and this time her smile held more strength. “Twins,” she said.

“Ah. I see. I suppose congratulations are in order since you seem so happy.”

His expression was blank, but he didn’t seem insincere. Hinata blew out a breath. “I won’t move into the compound. You know how people will be. I don’t want to be around people who see them as a _mistake.”_

Her lip wobbled when she repeated her father’s words and Neji set his cup down. “You know Uncle was just upset. He loves you, Hinata. He’s just...”

“I know. This will be hard for him to accept.”

Neji looked down and she knew him well enough to guess that he was buying himself time to think through his next words. “Nara seems to care for you.”

“Yes.” That much was becoming obvious.

“I admit I don’t see why you’re refusing him.” Hinata shook her head at his bluntness but didn’t bother getting upset. “It would make things easier on you, and we wouldn’t have to worry about somebody attempting to take you or the babies for the Byakugan if you lived on Nara land.”

“Things are different now. I doubt the other villages would do that.”

“Hinata.”

She gave up on changing the subject. “I just...Shikaku never showed an interest in being with me until I got pregnant. Not after...after our initial, um.”

Neji’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t interrupt her. Hinata looked up into his steady gaze and the whole story came from pouring from her. She’d never talked to anybody about it before and was just...tired of holding it all in.

Neji took a drink of tea and leaned back in his chair. She could see he was seriously considering everything she’d said. “I have to say, I can understand why he was concerned. You’re already the subject of gossip after just a few weeks of publicly being seen together, and your father and I were both...uneasy when we heard the rumors.”

Hinata took a breath. “Who I love is my business.”

Neji held up a hand. “I know, but that doesn't mean people won't give you a hard time. Still, to treat you that way after sleeping with you...”

Hinata bit her lip. It had probably been a mistake to tell him everything. “I don’t want you to fight with him. Please, Neji.”

He sighed. “I don’t think he’s lying, Hinata. He shouldn’t have put you in this position in the first place - he should have given you a commitment before he slept with you. I’m going to have a hard time forgiving that. But I saw how he looked at you. He loves you.”

“You can’t know that. Shikaku told me himself he’s good at manipulation.” Hinata’s heartbeat picked up and she was desperately trying to hold onto her doubt, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

“That’s true. But I don’t think he’d lie about this. Why would he? If he was trying to force you into marriage, he would have come directly to me to push the point. Or he’d threaten to sue for full custody.”

Hinata leaned back in her chair. She hadn’t thought of that. If Shikaku only wanted to force the marriage issue because he wanted full access to his children, he’d have probably found a better way to do it than walking her to and from work and buying her flowers and food and small presents. His actions were those of a man trying to woo a woman, not someone who was only interested in a marriage of convenience.

“Take it from a clan head who is forced to manipulate people all the time. Shikaku is simply trying to gain your forgiveness. Whether you give it to him is up to you, but you’re doing yourself a disservice by doubting his feelings.” Neji stood. “You’re tired. You and I will need to discuss security measures soon. Like it or not, some will see your children as potential assets.”

Hinata nodded and got to her feet. She hesitated only for a moment before crossing to him and hugging him. He put one had to the back of her head before dropping it and stepping back.

They didn’t say anything else as she walked him to the door, but her heart felt lighter after talking to him. “Thank you,” she said as she opened it.

“You know I’m here for you if you need it,” he said simply. His countenance went cold when he turned to leave. “Nara.”

“Hyuuga.” Shikaku was leaning against the wall across from her door, new bags of food sitting at his feet. 

“I’m sorry I...threw you,” Neji said, but the way his lips turned up at the corners belied the sentiment. Despite his words in Shikaku's favor, it seemed as though Neji was still holding a grudge.

Shikaku shrugged. “I understand. I’ll let it go this time.” Hinata wrung her hands when they went into another stare off. Finally, Shikaku bent down to swipe up the food.

Neji put his hand on her shoulder. “I’ll set up a time to have lunch this week. Should I invite Hanabi?”

“Yes, that’d be nice.”

“Alright. I’ll also speak with your father.”

Hinata nodded and her mood plummeted at the reminder of her father's reaction. “Okay. Thank you.”

He stepped out into the hallway and she watched him glide away until he disappeared into the stairwell. She then turned to Shikaku and smiled, though she knew it was probably wobbly.

“That smells good.” She frowned when she looked closer at him. “You’re all wet! Come inside and get dried off.”

“I’m fine,” he said but didn’t resist when she pulled him through the door.

She frowned and unzipped his flak jacket, sighing when she saw his whole shirt was soaked through. “I’m sorry about Neji,” she said.

He followed her when she made her way to the hallway closet to grab a towel, setting their food down on the coffee table when he passed it. He took it from her and wiped the moisture from his face.

“I guess you told your family, then?”

“Yes. They’d heard rumors and...I didn’t want to lie.”

“I understand. I would have gone with you.”

Hinata winced as she imagined her father’s reaction had Shikaku been standing in front of him. “I know. Thank you.”

He sighed. “It didn’t go well, I take it.”

Hinata’s eyes filled with tears and he put his hand to her cheek. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I can’t even hug you,” he muttered and she giggled wetly when he glared down at his soggy clothes.

“I think I have a t-shirt and pair of gym shorts of Kiba’s here. They might fit you well enough to use while your clothes dry.”

His scowl intensified. “Why are Inuzuka's clothes here?”

She blinked and he shuffled his feet, looking an adorable mix of annoyed and contrite. “Not that it’s any of my business.”

Hinata turned towards her bedroom to hide her smile. “Our clothes sometimes get mixed up on missions. He’s terrible about remembering to pack all his things and sometimes I end up with them.”

“Oh.” He didn’t say anything else and she thought he might be a little embarrassed by his outburst. She rummaged around in her closet until she found the pile of clothes she kept folded and ready to give back to Kiba after she washed them.

“Here. You’re taller and your shoulders are bigger than his, I think, but these are loose on him anyway. Um, the laundry room is attached to the bathroom, if you want to use the dryer."

“Thanks,” he said and she rushed out to the living room so she didn’t have to think about him undressing in her bedroom. Hinata took a shaky breath and distracted herself from her racing thoughts by bringing the food to the kitchen to serve onto plates.

When Shikaku came out in a t-shirt that stretched across his chest and shoulders and basketball shorts that looked extremely strange on him, she’d cleared the tea she and Neji had been drinking and had two heaping plates of food out.

“Thank you for bringing this. I’m sorry the other food was ruined,” she said to distract herself from staring at the too-tight t-shirt after they sat.

“It’s no problem.” He hesitated and then said, “I like taking care of you.”

Hinata bit her lip and her heart leapt. “Because of the babies?” she blurted before she could stop herself.

He set down his chopsticks and she glanced up at him. His lips were turned up and his expression was soft in a way she realized only happened when he was looking at her. “No. It’s just you. The babies probably make me feel more intense about it, but...I like to do things for you because I love you.”

He shrugged and looked back down at his food. His cheeks were flushed slightly and the bite he took was overly large. “Oh,” she said faintly and turned her attention back to her own food.

She thought about what Neji had said earlier. Hinata remembered the way Shikaku had acted around her in Iron before that morning, and how gentle he’d been with her the past weeks. Shikaku seemed honestly happy to just...be with her.

Hinata stayed lost in thought throughout dinner and while they stood next to each other cleaning the dishes. He finally pulled her attention while she was drying her hands on a towel by clearing his throat.

“Well, my clothes are probably dry, now. I’ll change and head home. Do you need anything before I leave? Are you feeling okay after everything?”

Hinata stared at him. She didn’t want him to leave. And she didn’t think he wanted to go, either. “Stay.”

He froze. She took a deep breath and stepped forward. “I’d like you to stay if you wouldn’t mind.”

“You mean...on the couch?”

Hinata bit her lip and tried to hold back her smile at his bewildered words. “No. I mean with me. I’m not...I don’t know if I’m ready to - to -”

“That’s okay. We can just sleep.” He stumbled over his words in his rush to get them out, then cleared his throat and shrugged in a failed attempt to regain his normal level of nonchalance. “I mean, if that’s what you want.”

Hinata took a breath. “It is. It’s what I want.”

“Does this mean...you forgive me?” He looked pained even asking, probably worried she’d remember why she was mad in the first place and change her mind.

“I...” her voice drifted off as she considered his words and he watched her closely. “Yes. I can see you regret it. I’m not ready to marry you, but we could...”

“Date?” he said hopefully and she nodded.

“Yes. I’d like that.” His smile was slow and wide and her breath caught when he stepped towards her.

“Don’t worry. I won’t mess up again. Well, I might, but not like I did before.”

Hinata leaned against him when he wrapped his arms around her. She had to admit that she mostly believed him.

000

“Where is he?” Temari said and Hinata shifted uncomfortably.

“Um. He was supposed to be here half an hour ago...” she looked over at Shikamaru, who shrugged.

It was a week after she’d had her argument with her family and agreed to give Shikaku another chance, and officially twelve weeks into her pregnancy. Shikaku had asked her to have dinner with him and Shikamaru and Temari.

She was nervous and Shikaku not showing up for such an important milestone had her honestly worried. Had he changed his mind? Was he embarrassed by their situation after all?

Shikamaru leaned forward. “Hey, I’m sure he just got held up. Don’t worry about it.”

This was her first time spending time with Shikamaru and Temari as Shikaku’s girlfriend and she had to admit she was feeling weird about it. Though Shikamaru had been his usual self with her, not treating her any differently than he usually would. Temari had been a little quiet for her but didn’t seem upset. Still, Hinata could have done without the half an hour of waiting.

“Sorry I’m late, sweetheart,” Shikaku said, slipping into the chair next to her and kissing her cheek.

She looked over, relief bringing a smile to her face. It faltered when she saw that he had a black eye and his shirt was rumpled and stretched out at the collar.

“What happened?” she asked just as Temari blurted the same question.

“Ah, well.” He leaned back in his seat. “Your father stopped by to see me,” he said. Shikamaru huffed out a laugh, but Hinata was horrified.

“He did this to you? He attacked you?” The thought was so distressing that Shikaku reached over and grabbed her hand.

“No, no, he came to talk. At one point he lost his temper and sort of...tackled me. If he’d really attacked me he would have done more than punch me in the face.”

Hinata gaped at him. “My father tackled you and then...punched you in the face?” she said a little more loudly than she meant to and a few people in the restaurant tittered. It was just such an undignified thing to do, she couldn’t even picture it. Using his Gentle Fist Technique, yes, but just hauling off and punching someone?

“It’s fine. I figured I couldn’t begrudge him that one hit, and afterward, he calmed down. I think he’s sorry for how he reacted when you told him.” Shikaku said the last bit softly into her ear so nobody else heard him.

“Really?”

His half smile had her breath stuttering in her throat and she shifted at the heat that flared low in her stomach. They hadn’t had sex since she’d decided to take him back, though he’d stayed at her house every night that week. It was nice to just have him hold her, but she knew she was going to give in and initiate something more soon. How could she not when he made her feel this way just with a smile?

“Yep. I bet he’ll show up within a week to talk to you.” Hinata smiled up at him. Shikaku was usually right about such things, so she let herself feel hopeful that she and her father could mend their relationship soon.

She still couldn’t believe her father had _punched him in the face._ And probably tussled with him a bit, too, from the state of his clothes. It wasn’t like him to be so dramatic.

More surprising was that Shikaku had let him. She knew he’d allowed it only because he wanted her to repair her relationship with her father. She’d been down about their falling out and he’d been honestly concerned about her. It made just that much more of her doubt about how he felt slide away.

He’d also been completely unconcerned about the sideways looks he’d been getting lately. News of her pregnancy had traveled around the village, probably because Hinata had given in and told her team and Sakura and Ino. After some initial dramatics, Kiba and Shino had mostly calmed down and accepted that she was happy, though she hadn’t risked putting them in the same room with Shikaku, yet.

Kurenai had been extremely supportive, just like Hinata anticipated, and had already started giving her gentle advice. It was true that Hinata had a few unkind things said to her, but it was mostly from people she didn’t know or care about, so, for the most part, she ignored them.

Neji hadn’t brought up her moving into the compound again, but she also had a member of the clan following her around for extra protection now. Hinata couldn’t blame him for his worry, so didn’t say anything about it. All in all, things were a lot less stressful than she’d expected after word got out, aside from her father and Neji’s reactions.

Shikaku was as attentive as he usually was throughout dinner. He made sure she ate enough and kept an arm stretched across the back of her chair. Every time she looked at him he’d give her a soft smile despite the no-doubt-painful bruise on his face.

Hinata was practically vibrating with want by the time they got to her apartment. His eyes widened when she wrapped herself around him and pulled him down into the bed with her.

“Are you sure?”

Hinata tugged him closer and looked up into his face. “Yes,” she whispered.

The next morning, when they woke up with tangled limbs and naked skin pressed together, he smiled at her and she knew, without a doubt, that he wasn’t lying about loving her. So, when he asked her the question she’d been expecting for days in a low, hesitant tone, she didn’t hesitate to repeat her answer from the night before.

_Six Years Later_

“Haruki! Harumi! You’re late,” Hinata scolded. Her son and daughter stared up at her with big, pearl-colored eyes and did their best to look repentant.

“Sorry, mom. We had to stop and talk to Grandpa and Uncle Neji for an assignment for school,” Harumi said and scuffed her foot on the kitchen tile. Her brown hair was coming out of its ponytail in a way that told Hinata there’d been at least one nap snuck in between the Hyuuga compound and home.

“Oh? What kind of assignment?”

Haruki yawned. “We have to find out our family members' best memories and then write an essay about them. It’s a total pain.”

Hinata put her hands on her hips. “That sounds nice to me.”

“Grandpa said his best memory was punching dad in the face,” Harumi supplied and Hinata brought her hand up to cover her eyes.

“Of course he did.”

“Why did grandpa punch dad?” Haruki asked and of course, this is what her children would finally take an interest in.

“Ah, he was worried that your father was too old for me, at first. But he doesn’t feel that way anymore,” she rushed to assure.

Both of her children gave her a deadpan look that made them resemble their older brother, despite their light-colored eyes. “He is too old for you,” Harumi said bluntly.

“Hey! I heard that!” Shikaku yelled from his office down the hall.

They both giggled and he sighed dramatically. “Stop picking on your old man and do your training with your mom.”

Haruki slumped. “What a drag,” he muttered. “Do we have to?”

Hinata narrowed her eyes and they both gulped. “Yes. You know your uncle is going to come to assess how you’re doing next week. You’ve both been slacking lately - don’t think I haven’t noticed!”

“Hey, mom, what’s your favorite memory?”

Hinata smiled despite the obvious distraction technique. “It’s a tie between the day you were born and the day I married your father.”

“...That’s pretty cheesy, mom,” Haruki said.

“Yeah, grandpa’s is much cooler,” Harumi agreed.

Hinata smiled and shook her head and then pointed at the back door. “Out! Warm up properly. I’ll join you soon.”

They both scurried outside. The door had barely clicked shut when two strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her against a firm chest. “We’ve raised a couple of brats,” Shikaku muttered.

Hinata laughed and twisted around to look up at him. “It’s your fault for spoiling them.”

He hummed. “You’re probably right. I can’t believe your father told them about punching me.” He sounded more amused than upset so Hinata stayed relaxed in his arms.

“So what’s yours?” she asked.

“My what?”

“Your best memory.”

“Ah, there’s so many to choose from these past six years. The twins’ last birthday was nice.”

Hinata traced her finger along his arm. "Why that day?”

“Well, Shikamaru, Temari, and Shikadai all came over for the day, and the twins were pretty happy. It was nice to have everybody together.”

Hinata smiled. “That was a good day.”

“Of course, there was what happened that night, too,” He rumbled into her ear and she felt her cheeks go immediately hot. “I have to say, that lingerie you wore made it feel like it was _my_ birthday...”

“Stop it!” she squeaked when he leaned down and pressed a hot kiss behind her ear. She ignored his grumbling and pulled away from him, though she was laughing slightly. “Maybe I’ll wear it tonight if you liked it so much,” she said after dancing away from him when he made a grab for her.

He raised a brow. “Oh yeah?”

Hinata tilted her head to the side and smiled, knowing he could never resist that expression. “That is...if the shed ends up getting cleaned out the way you keep promising.”

Shikaku sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “And people think _I’m_ the manipulative one.”

Hinata just widened her smile and walked calmly to the back door. “I bought matching stockings to go with the set. But it’s your choice.”

They both knew she’d end up wearing them for him, anyway, but he still gave her that slow, lazy smile she loved so much. “Well, when you put it that way.”

He crossed the kitchen and pulled her against him. By the time he was done kissing her she was breathless and dazed and the twins were making distressed noises about how gross they were. They’d been in clear view of them through the window in the back door.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” She gasped when he slapped her butt and gave her a gentle push towards the door. “You’ve got training to get to.”

She glared at him half-heartedly before heading outside. “Don’t forget about the shed!” she called to him.

“I won’t.” He leaned out the still-open door and grinned. “That’s a promise.”

Hinata blushed at his roguish expression and turned to her children, who were making identical expressions of disgust. “Ugh, mom, you’ve got it bad,” Harumi said.

Hinata didn’t bother to deny it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to go to cheeseball rehab.


End file.
